Me in a Nutshell: Extended

This wouldn't fit in my blog's "About Me" column I renamed "Me in a Nutshell." Apparently my nut is too big for it's shell. Here's what the whole column should have read:

A hack writer, a bad musician, a z-list director and a chronic masturbater. I don't have anything published, but I should be changing that in a five year plan I cannot show you. Doctor's orders.

I also have a guitar which I am learning how to play and a few movies I have shot to comical effect. I plan on working on these hobbies as well and might post updates to those on this blog as I see fit.

I have a loving girlfriend/fiancee and the most awesome family known to man. My hero's are my Mother and my Nama (grandmother), Bill Murray, Emmitt Smith and Metallica.

I love a variety of music: metal (thrash, death, groove), alternative rock (grunge, industrial, progressive), classic rock (60's, art, stadium), hip hop (classic, gangsta rap) and video game music (nes, snes, genesis, soundtracks from modern games).

I love good movies. Great movies, actually. I am a Netflix addict on a 350+ movie queue. Some of my favorite movies include: Apocalypse Now, Chinatown, A Clockwork Orange, Whisper of the Heart, Samurai Rebellion, The Dark Knight. (Favorite guilty pleasure? Jackass: The Movie and Jackass: Number Two)

The only movie I have directed might have gotten me a failing grade in my final film class. Not because it's overtly bad or anything. I'd have to say it was the best thing I have worked on up to this point. It had cursing in it and drinking was implied. (It's a small junior college in the bible belt, so it's to be expected...) Arbor Day ran at almost 30 minutes; It's a horror movie in the vein of Halloween but with bad funny dialogue, bloody deaths and it all almost got me arrested. The credits ran over 5 minutes because I added the blooper reel and an even smaller short film to them. It was a lot of fun and I can't wait to have my own camera so I can start filming bullshit with friends that will train me to actually become a director someday.

With the seriousness of this post, I feel that this is the only thing I can close it on:

( . ) ( . ) Boobies. Hurray Boobies.